January 1, 2008

January 1, 2008 was the first anniversary of my Mom's death. As has become tradition, Nate and I were in San Diego for New Year's with my sister Nancy and her husband Vince. Since this is our tradition, we were, of course, with them when we all found out Mom had passed away last year. If I had to find out such news, there was no one I'd rather have been with. I wasn't sure how I would feel on the anniversary - I'm not sure I've really completely dealt with the reality of Mom being gone.

Nancy and I talked about how we would celebrate Mom shortly after we arrived in San Diego. I definitely wanted to go to Mass and Nancy suggested a walk on the beach since that was one of Mom's favorite things to do, though she never made it to San Diego to walk at Torrey Pines. Mass was not easy since January 1st is the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God. They sang "Hail Mary, Gentle Woman" which was played at Mom's funeral, so some tears were shed. Even before Mom passed away, I had begun to develop an affection for Mary. For the past several years, I join a group of friends on Fridays at 6:30 AM to pray the Rosary and Nate joins us, too as his schedule allows. Over the past year, I have often thought of the passage from John 19 where Jesus tells John "Behold your Mother" and Mary "Behold your son". Mary isn't a replacement for Mom, but devotion to her can maybe help me heal.

Nancy, Vince, Nate and I took a nice long walk on the beach on Jan. 1st. It was a little subdued, but it was a good day - the weather was awesome, it was warm, we saw a New Age prayer circle and got some great pictures of guys surfing. More than anything, it was time spent together and a day Mom would have enjoyed. We ended the day with dinner a California Pizza Kitchen (another tradition when Nate and I go to San Diego). What could have been a real melancholy day turned out to be a day well spent. I think it is because we celebrated Mom, not mourned her. Don't get me wrong, I miss her all the time, but in celebrating her, she is more closely with us.

Here are some pictures from our "Mom" day at Torrey Pines Beach:

Flashback - 1987

Paula, my ex-sister in-law and a faithful commenter on this blog, as well as the author of Dave & Paula's Road Trip, sent me the pictures shown below. They are from Labor Day 1987 and, yes, that is me with Paula's son Jimmy who is just turning 21! I feel old since Nate is a high school freshman, but Paula must actually be old since she has a son who can now legally drink.

Fun With Hand Drums

As some of you may know, Nate has been playing drums for a number of years. His lessons have always been on set, but he has played "regular" drums in concert and marching band. Last fall, Nate decided that he was going to play drums at church with his Mom's Praise Band, Pacem, as well as with the yet unnamed Lifesygns band that plays at Teen Mass. While he could have played his set at mass, a hand drum is much easier to transport and a little more mellow for the mass setting. I decided to get him a djembe, an African hand drum since that is what Mr. Barr plays at mass and I knew he would give me good advice on buying one. The one I got Nate is shown on the left - it is a 14 inch djembe, with goat skin head and synthetic body. It is mechanically tuned, since I figured a 15 year old wouldn't want to mess with rope tuning.


Nate has a blast playing his djembe at mass and with Lifesygns. At youth group, he can play it loud and wild. I played the djembe at youth group a couple times when Nate let me and I can tell you it is way too much fun. I also got to play it at Eucharistic Adoration in December. This was the first time I had ever played or sung at a church event and it was moving and spiritual. I decided that I needed my own drum after these events. (For those who don't know, I started out a drummer before playing clarinet, baritone/euphonium and sax). I decided I needed something different in a drum, so after some research, I chose a doumbek, a traditional Middle Eastern drum. My drum is shown on the right, it is a 11 inch, hand etched aluminum drum with a synthetic head. I play at youth group practice to help keep the beat and at mass if requested. Teen Mass is for the teens - we are trying get to an all teen band soon.