January 1, 2008

January 1, 2008 was the first anniversary of my Mom's death. As has become tradition, Nate and I were in San Diego for New Year's with my sister Nancy and her husband Vince. Since this is our tradition, we were, of course, with them when we all found out Mom had passed away last year. If I had to find out such news, there was no one I'd rather have been with. I wasn't sure how I would feel on the anniversary - I'm not sure I've really completely dealt with the reality of Mom being gone.

Nancy and I talked about how we would celebrate Mom shortly after we arrived in San Diego. I definitely wanted to go to Mass and Nancy suggested a walk on the beach since that was one of Mom's favorite things to do, though she never made it to San Diego to walk at Torrey Pines. Mass was not easy since January 1st is the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God. They sang "Hail Mary, Gentle Woman" which was played at Mom's funeral, so some tears were shed. Even before Mom passed away, I had begun to develop an affection for Mary. For the past several years, I join a group of friends on Fridays at 6:30 AM to pray the Rosary and Nate joins us, too as his schedule allows. Over the past year, I have often thought of the passage from John 19 where Jesus tells John "Behold your Mother" and Mary "Behold your son". Mary isn't a replacement for Mom, but devotion to her can maybe help me heal.

Nancy, Vince, Nate and I took a nice long walk on the beach on Jan. 1st. It was a little subdued, but it was a good day - the weather was awesome, it was warm, we saw a New Age prayer circle and got some great pictures of guys surfing. More than anything, it was time spent together and a day Mom would have enjoyed. We ended the day with dinner a California Pizza Kitchen (another tradition when Nate and I go to San Diego). What could have been a real melancholy day turned out to be a day well spent. I think it is because we celebrated Mom, not mourned her. Don't get me wrong, I miss her all the time, but in celebrating her, she is more closely with us.

Here are some pictures from our "Mom" day at Torrey Pines Beach: